


In the Presence of Shadows

by SpaceshipsAreCool



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Bad Trope Fic, F/F, One Shot, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-16
Updated: 2016-08-16
Packaged: 2018-08-09 06:08:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7789621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpaceshipsAreCool/pseuds/SpaceshipsAreCool
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cat just wants to be there for Kara, but when the two of them get stuck in a trap, Cat comes to realize that ‘being there’ entails much more than she had originally bargained for. Written for the Sin Bin Bad Trope Challenge: fuck or die prompt.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In the Presence of Shadows

Following Kara when the girl had slipped out the side door that opened up onto Cat’s private beach probably hadn’t been the best idea she had ever had, not when she knew that she had a house full of important guests, and especially not when she took into account that a number of those guests were also journalists and prone to notice if their queen went missing. Cat was fully aware that not one of them was loyal enough to refrain from posting a story about the CEO chasing after her attractive, much younger assistant, like the middle-aged bosses she had so railed against in her youth. In fact, considering all of the data, this action was probably right up there near the top of her list of overall bad ideas, alongside dating a Beach Boy and that one time she had ridden the public elevator to her office, but Cat hadn’t been able to stop herself. Not when she had seen that flash of determination on Kara’s face in the moment before she had disappeared. And not when Cat had come to recognize that look as the one the girl would wear before the copier on the 38th floor would mysteriously break for the nth time, an incident which always perfectly corresponded to the arrival of Supergirl several minutes later.

 

It wasn’t just that Cat wanted to follow Kara to catch her in the act, the change, although to be fair just a few weeks ago that probably would have been the case- or rather, a desire to unmask Kara was the only thing she would have allowed herself to admit. But that was before the fight with Leslie and Siobhan, before Cat had watched Supergirl’s face contort in pain, and before Cat had watched the hero fall.

 

Because Supergirl had, fallen that is, and it hadn’t been the first time Cat had seen her hurt, but this time it had been different. It had been different because now Cat knew that Kara was Supergirl, no matter what that silly trick with the double had attempted to prove, and as a result the after effects of that image, of Supergirl in pain, well, Cat hadn’t been able to get that out of her head.

 

The first time Cat had seen pain on that face, pain that was a result of a physical attack and not a cutting remark, had also been in a fight against Leslie, but it had been over so quickly and Supergirl had just been a figure to her then, someone she did care about, but only in an abstract sort of way. Not in a way that had permeated her heart.

 

Not in the way Kara had, despite all of Cat’s attempts to keep the girl at bay.

 

The second time had been in Cat’s office when Kara had cut herself, when she had looked so stunned, so confused, but that time too had been different because Cat hadn’t realized what it had meant. It had been just a stupid piece of glass, and Kara had been oh so human, and, as unsettling as it had been to see Kara hurt, it had been understandable, permissible.

 

But seeing Supergirl fall when she knew that the hero was also Kara? That had been...

 

Knowing that Kara spent her evenings flying around in a cape saving people hadn’t made the girl more important to Cat, no, it wasn’t that. It was the fact that Supergirl came with a promise that she was unbreakable, that she could handle the monsters she threw herself against on a daily basis, and even during that first fight against Leslie, Supergirl had gotten right back up, no true damage done.

 

But in this last fight the girl hadn’t gotten up, and whereas before Supergirl had been on the ground, wrapped in lighting but still moving, still fighting, this time it had been _Kara_ , and she had been broken. This time the only movement had been the pained spasms that had continued to wrack the girl’s body even after she had hit the ground. And seeing her brought down, still in that costume, it had been the first time that Cat had really considered that maybe Kara could die, that maybe Kara could be taken away from her, and that maybe she, Cat, would be helpless to stop it.

 

It had been the first time that Cat had really been forced to face the fact that Kara wasn’t just at risk from the everyday trials of life, but that she was actively putting herself into danger, that she was willing to sacrifice herself to keep other safe, to keep _Cat_ safe.

 

And that was unacceptable.

 

In the weeks that had followed, Cat had found herself returning to that day over and over again, replaying Kara’s fall, that pain, only sometimes now in her dreams and even in waking nightmares the crowd wouldn’t step in to save the girl. Those were the times that she would call Kara to her with some ridiculous excuse, a 3am text demanding that she forward on an email, or a sudden, afternoon desire to have Kara spend an hour in her office, sorting all the M&Ms by color. They were stupid, trivial things, but the answering late night message, because of course Kara always responded, or the perfectly separated candies, at least those proved that Kara was still there, was still safe.

 

At least those moments proved that the woman Cat cared for so much was still alive to answer her call.

 

It hadn’t been instantaneous, not the fairytale romance of the young, bright thing bringing joy to the old witch and melting her heart in an instant. Cat could have stopped it if it had been, fired Kara before the attachment became permanent. But no, it had been slower than that, two years of someone who saw the worst of her, but refused to leave. Two years of constant support, and the lifting of burdens. Two years, and somewhere along the way, Cat had realized that she was changing, and that she was changing because of Kara.

 

It had been two years because along with the worst of her, Kara also saw the best, and it was that best that Cat had started to strive for, more and more, just to see that smile turn on her with innocent pride. And it was innocent, that pride. It was because Kara didn’t realize that she was the reason for the change, didn’t realize that Cat had ever _not_ had this in herself. It was a look that spoke of someone who was proud to be working for Cat, proud to be at her side, and that in turn only made Cat want to strive harder. It wasn’t self-serving, it was just… just Kara being Cat’s hero, before she had ever donned the cape.

 

And so Kara was important to her, had found her way in where so many others had fallen before. Cat wouldn’t say that she loved Kara, she hadn’t been given that permission and probably never would be. She hadn’t been welcomed into Kara’s private life enough to truly experience all of her, and so no, she wasn’t in love, not yet. But she could be, she so easily could be. And after that fight, after watching her Kara fall, Cat could no longer deny that fact, and what’s more, she no longer wanted to. Being able to watch over the girl, to know that she was safe, that was far more important than distancing herself in some fruitless effort to protect what was left of the barrier around her heart.

 

Which was why she had followed Kara, seeing that look and knowing that danger was near. She had followed Kara because something, during this past week, had made that look darken, had taken some of the light out of those smiles. And she had followed Kara because it was no longer possible for her to watch Supergirl go into battle, and to not be terrified that the girl would never return.

 

Cat’s first sight of Kara, once she had slipped out the door after her, brought a moment of relief, because Cat had been worried that Kara would already be gone, but instead she was just walking, almost slowly, towards the ocean and she was still dressed in the emerald green gown that was a perfect match to Cat’s eyes. And so Cat had to question, had she been wrong? Maybe it wasn’t a Supergirl emergency after all, maybe she had just wanted some air, maybe everything was fine and, for this night, at least, Kara really wasn’t in danger.

 

Maybe…

 

Something rose up in front of Kara, a dark shadow, and Cat found herself running forward as her body responded to the threat, needing to offer whatever protection she could no matter how misguided or useless. She had just enough sense of self to keep from yelling out, not wanting to distract the girl whose attention was fixated firmly on the… whatever it was, but in the next instant her heel twisted in the soft sand and, despite her resolve to remain quiet, a startled yelp escaped her lips as she stumbled and fell.

 

Or should have fallen, but at her cry Kara had turned back and Cat caught a momentary look of surprise and concern before strong arms were wrapping around her waist and holding her up.

“Miss Grant,” but it wasn’t Kara who had caught her, not really, because the voice was the one that Cat had come to associate with Supergirl, the authoritative, self-assured tone that was hardly ever present in Kara Danvers. “Miss Grant, are you alright?”

 

There were hands running over her, checking for injury in the most decidedly pleasant way, and regardless of whatever else was going on, Cat couldn’t resist pushing into that touch, clutching at the sensation greedily because it was all she was ever likely to get.

 

“I-” Cat started to respond, only to feel her voice die in her throat as the hands pulled back, their task done, and, without that distraction Cat was forced to take in the whole of the situation at hand. Specifically, the fact that the shadow had used the diversion to descend around them, engulfing them, and had somehow transported them into a sort of dream-like realm where everything aside from Kara and herself was hazy and out of focus. Yet wherever they were still had to be in approximately the same physical location as Cat could feel the sand under her feet and she could just make out the edge of a wave lapping against the shore. But only for a few yards in every direction, because after that the ground became decidedly less present before eventually fading away completely into black.

 

It took her a moment to take it all in, but she was Cat Grant after all, and she wasn’t about to let some strange supernatural manifestation straight out of the _Twilight Zone_ keep her at a loss for long, and so after a few seconds she found her voice again, “Kiera, what’s going on? Where are we?”

 

“I don’t…” And now there was a slight hesitation, a withholding because Kara had gotten so used to lying, and because it had become an ingrained response.

 

“Kara!” Cat reached for her then, shocking the girl with the use of her real name, but making sure that her voice was firm, was a voice that Kara had learned so well how to obey. “I hardly think this is the time for your dithering, and I don’t like to ask for things twice!”

 

Cat was slightly surprised by the strength of her reaction, the calm she felt. She was surprised by how easy it was to take on this tone with the girl, here and now. They were probably in danger, yes, but at least this time she was with Kara, at least this time the danger was surrounding them both. And Kara hadn’t bothered to change into her supersuit or tried to evacuate the area, and so whatever they were facing, it couldn’t be that bad.

 

If fact, Cat even felt a sort of thrill, standing at Kara’s side. And maybe it was selfish, but the earlier apprehension she had experienced when she had seen Kara slip away, and again when the shadow had appeared, began to dissipate, replaced by an almost manic need for everything to be alright. Of course this was just a minor problem, clearly the danger wasn’t that great, it couldn’t be, because it was her fault that Kara had lost focus and the thing had descended. If there was a real threat, if her actions had…

 

So no, this was all going to be fine. Kara was going to be safe at her side, and Cat was going to take charge, like she always did. She was going to show Kara that she didn’t have to be afraid to share her secret, to open herself up to Cat, and she was going to be here to protect Kara afterwards. Maybe she would be useless in the actual fight, but she would help with the excuse when they slipped back to the party. She would help straighten Kara’s dress, her hair, and perhaps she would never truly have her, not the way she wanted, but this… it would be enough.

 

And so yes, it was selfish, her desire to be here in this instant, but when the risk was so slight?

 

Kara stared at her, considering, but Cat could see the struggle in the girl’s eyes, the need to answer Cat’s command. And then something like a sigh escaped, accompanied by a relieved smile as Kara’s shoulders momentarily relaxed with the lifting of this one burden. It didn’t last for long, however, because whatever relief had come from the revelation that Cat already knew, that Kara didn’t have to hide, couldn’t stand up to the truth of what they were facing, and despite Cat’s earlier hope that this would be something simple, now Cat felt a tendril of fear grow from the seed that had been planted when she had seen Kara slip out that door. But she pushed it down, hanging on to her need to not be responsible for placing the girl in danger.

 

“It’s a Nightmare, Miss Grant,” Cat could hear the capital ‘N’ in Kara’s voice, “I captured the alien that made it last week, a telepathic creature with the ability to bridge the gap between the world of dreams and that of reality, but several of these traps were left behind. The DE- the government agency I work with gave me a way to track them, but I have to be nearby for the sensor to pick them up, and it can still take a while to manifest because the Nightmare won’t appear until it has been triggered by the presence of a number of sentient beings in close proximity. The party was enough to make this one open up, I think it was out over the ocean, but it was drawn in as the event went on.”

 

Cat nodded, trying to make it seem as if this was all perfectly reasonable, as if she didn’t have to worry about that look in Kara’s eyes. “Well then, Supergirl, get to it. Do whatever you were going to do in the first place and get us back to the party.”

 

She spoke as if she expected Kara to spring into action at her direction, to leap to follow her orders as she had so many times in the past, but instead, for the second time since they had entered this shadow, this Nightmare, Cat saw hesitation and uncertainty. “You did have a plan to defeat it, didn’t you?”

 

“Freeze breath, that’s how I’ve taken out the other traps. From the outside the Nightmare is part of the physical realm so I can freeze it and shatter it with a punch, but…” Kara glanced away, looking with apparent interest at her hands and shuffling uncomfortably.

 

Cat tapped her foot, waiting, until the implication sunk in. “From the outside?”

 

Kara nodded, her head still down, still refusing to meet Cat’s eyes. “It won’t work from the inside, but the trap can only remain active for a few hours, so don’t worry, you’ll be fine. It tries to draw its victims completely into the dream realm, and once there they can never come back, but that can only happen if you walk too far out into the darkness,” and here she waved vaguely at the space where the ground gave way to nothing, “or if you let yourself relax and let your heart rate fall below a certain level. It’s not a very effective trap, in fact a normal human’s resting heart rate is just on the edge of dangerous, so if you notice yourself getting blurry at all just jog in place for a minute and you’ll solidify again.”

 

Well that wasn’t so bad, Cat supposed. Yes, she had messed up Kara’s oh so brilliant plan, but she could think of worse ways to spend a few hours than trapped with a superhero, a superhero who was… A look of horror passed her face because the superhero in question was no longer quite so defined as Cat, her edges slipping into shadow, and her words…

 

“Human heart rate?”

 

And now, finally, Kara looked up and returned her gaze, a soft, sad smile on her face. “Kryptonians… well, our resting heart rate is much slower than a typical human’s, and here on Earth, with my powers fully charged, I won’t be able to make my heart rate accelerate with just physical activity. I’ve beaten down 40 foot monsters without so much as 3% increase so running around in circles in this space won’t be nearly enough to do the trick. But it’s fine, you’ll be fine, and that’s more impor-”

 

“No,” Cat cut her off, panic flaring as the fear that she had pushed down came roaring back with full force, “don’t you dare tell me what’s more important, don’t you dare…” Her eyes fell to the hand that had been checking her for injury just moments ago, a hand that was now almost completely encased in shadow. “Kiera, if you don’t accelerate your heart rate right now, then I’ll… I’ll fire you and you’ll never work in media again!” It was a pointless bluff but Cat said it anyway.

 

“It’s ok, I’ll be with my family again, I never should have escaped Krypton and lived this long to begin with.” Cat could only stare, her fear intensifying as she realized exactly what Kara was saying. She had come out here to follow Kara, tired of being helpless, and instead… instead she had distracted the girl, thrown her into a trap that Kara had been prepared to deal with easily, and as a result Kara was… Kara was…

 

Cat knew about nightmares, she had been having so many over the last few weeks, but those had been something she could wake up from, something she could fix. But this? This Nightmare?

 

“Might I suggest taking off your shoes, Miss Grant? The sand isn’t cold enough to cause any problems for your feet, and if you need to move around in a bit it might helpful to be out of those heels.”

 

Cat’s fear warped into anger, all the worry and uncertainty she had been feeling over the past weeks shifting into something uncontrollable at the girl’s incessant… _heroicness_. Because how could Kara be like this? Treating her own impending death with such acceptance? Cat knew that Kara was still suffering after whatever it had been that had altered the girl’s behavior, knew that Kara still felt that weight, that she hadn’t fully acknowledged that people wanted to forgive her. Cat knew that part of Kara still felt like the world might be better off without Supergirl, but this? For her to take that, for her to just give in so easily? Focusing instead on the possibility that Cat might twist an ankle, or, heaven forbid, that the sand might be too cold for her precious little toes to handle?

 

“And what? I’m just supposed to stand here and watch you die?” She didn’t even feel bad when Kara flinched at her harsh tone, good, let the girl feel her ire. But it had the wrong effect, and Kara glanced around, her eyes looking out into the distance, and she actually started to take a step before Cat realized what Kara was thinking. “Stop right there, I did not give you permission to wander off!”

 

“Miss Grant, you can’t stop this, and you shouldn’t have to watch. Let me make it easier, let me-”

 

“If you take one more step, so help me god, Kara…”

 

At the threat Kara’s eyes flashed dangerously, not with fear for her own safety, but at the thought that Cat might put herself through any more pain than was strictly necessary. It seemed to give her the confidence she needed to draw herself up, to equal Cat’s wrath with a determination of her own.

 

“You can’t exactly stop me, Miss Grant. I’m not just your assistant, I am Kara Zor-El.” The name was spoken with pride and a slight inflection that Cat had never heard before, an accent of a lost people. “I am the last daughter of Krypton. I watched my world burn, I watched it erupt in fire, and I watched as three billion people died screaming. I have seen more, and survived more than you can ever imagine, and if I choose to walk away right now, you, a mere _human_ , can’t stop me.”

 

It was Cat’s turn to flinch, but she held her ground. “I may not be able to stop you, but if you try and walk away, I will follow. Do you accept that responsibility, Kara?” It was wrong, she knew it was, to try and lay this on the younger woman, but Cat could deal with hurt feelings later. “Are you so determined to die that you would bring me along with you?”

 

And just as quickly as it had come, Kara’s strength seemed to wane, her body caving in on itself even as it continued to dissolve into shadow.

 

“I don’t want to die.” The admission was soft, but Cat could tell that there was so much more. “But I… I don’t belong here, not really. I lived on Krypton for 13 years, Earth, for 12. Soon, I’ll have spent more time on Earth than my home planet, Miss Grant. Soon, Earth will be more a part of me than that place, than all those people. I’m the only one who saw them die, but how can I honor them when I’m leaving them behind more and more with each day that passes here?”

 

“So you would leave me instead?” Cat’s voice had softened as well, but it still kept its hard edge.

 

“It’s what I do, Miss Grant. I run away. I was supposed to come to Earth and watch after my cousin, but the explosion threw me off course and I was stuck in the Phantom Zone for 24 years. Even more than Earth, more than Krypton, I belong here, in the world of dreams. My people all died in fire, and I ran and hid in shadow. I failed in the only thing I had left, my only job, to protect my cousin. So let me do this, please. Let me walk away now, in this one time that my doing so will actually mean something. Let me spare you having to watch.”

 

“That’s why you’ve been so affected, this past week? Because you’ve been dealing with these traps, and they remind you of-”

 

“This is where I belong, can’t you see that? I don’t want to die, but… but I am prepared to, and I am not afraid.” That last part was obviously a lie, the girl was afraid, but she was also a hero and she was still trying to make Cat feel better about this.

 

But Cat would not feel better. Nothing Kara had said, or could ever say, would make Cat accept this, and so she growled, her hand reaching out to grasp onto the younger woman, to shake some sense into her, to…

 

And under her touch, the slightest brush of skin on skin, Kara’s body had, for the briefest of moments, slipped back into solid focus. It lasted for only an instant, but as Cat experimentally let her hand wander, let it slip down that arm, tracing those firm muscles, it happened again, Kara coming back to her, and suddenly Cat had her answer.

 

Physical activity alone might not be able to keep Kara here, but physical activity, it if was combined with an emotional element? Kara had continued to fade through her outburst, the girl could never sustain her anger at Cat for very long, and so that wasn’t strong enough to hold her here. But what about another emotion?

 

Cat looked back up to meet Kara’s gaze, soft blue eyes that were almost pleading, begging Cat to just let her go. But why was Kara so insistent? She had been telling the truth, she didn’t want to die, of that, Cat was sure. So what was pushing her over the edge? It couldn’t just be the dream realm, not just the memories.

 

Was it possible that Kara cared about her, in the same way that Cat cared about Kara? Of course there had been moments, stolen glances or a sudden blush that had offered up the possibility, but Cat hadn’t allowed herself to dwell on those, knowing how easy they were to misinterpret. She had just gotten around to admitting her own desire for Kara; allowing the thought that Kara might want her back to take root in her mind, however? That was the next step, one that she hadn’t been ready for. But it no longer mattered if she was ready, not anymore, because they were running out of time.

 

She shifted her hand again, taking a step closer and letting her fingers rise up to brush along that face, watching the way Kara’s eyes closed, her body leaning into the touch, and once again, for an instant, Kara was back, whole.

 

 _“It’s because it’s me,”_ and suddenly, Cat was completely sure about that fact. _“That’s why she’s so ready to walk away. It’s because she watched them all die, and she would rather just give up, than fight and make me go through the same thing. It’s different than the other times, the other battles where I was watching because she didn’t have a choice then. But this time she does, and now…”_

 

Kara’s eyes were still closed when Cat leaned up to kiss her, capturing her lips before she could realize what was going on, and in the few seconds that it took the girl’s mind to catch up, in those first few seconds where she just gave in and kissed Cat back, the rest of the world fell away.

 

But then Kara was pushing Cat away, shaking her head and backing up. Only the long hem of her dress saved her from going too far, tripping her in her haste to put distance between them, and unlike when Cat had fallen and Kara had caught her, Cat wasn’t fast enough to stop the movement. Not that Cat minded, taking advantage of the situation which had placed Kara prone at her feet, and before the girl could rise Cat lowered herself down as well until she was hovering over the younger woman.

 

“Miss Grant, what are you-” Cat silenced her with another kiss, one that was also cut short as Kara tried to push her back again.

 

“I’m saving your life, Kara,” she spoke, letting her left hand slip into the opening in the front of Kara’s gown, her nails scraping along the skin above Kara’s breast and eliciting a sharp gasp.

 

“You don’t… Miss Grant…” But Kara was responding to her anyway, arching up when Cat dipped lower, pushing aside the bra and palming the younger woman in her hand, giving a sharp pinch that had Kara panting against her.

 

“Shhh… Kara,” Cat whispered, lowering her mouth to Kara’s neck, nuzzling and licking along her skin. “I’ve wanted you for so long, even if I wouldn’t admit it to myself. I’ve wanted to touch you, taste you,” she slipped her leg in between Kara’s thighs, pushing against her and smiling when the movement was rewarded with a low, breathy moan. “This isn’t the way I would have wanted it, but Kara...” And here she pulled back, looking the girl directly in the eyes and stilling the movement of her hand. She needed to make sure that Kara heard this, that she was present, and that she understood. “You don’t have to belong to the shadows, you can belong to me instead, and I promise you, I will not let you go. I won’t let you run, or fade away, and when this is over you can tell me everything about Krypton and I will listen, and together we will find a way to honor those memories.”

 

Kara stared at her, indecision and doubt warring with the desire in her eyes. “Have you ever known me to do anything I didn’t want, Kara? For two years you’ve trusted me to guide you as Kara Danvers, even when I was harsh. For the last year you’ve also trusted me to guide you as Supergirl, and now I am asking you to trust me again, not as someone who has to hide, or as someone who wears a cape, but as yourself. Trust in me, Kara Zor-El, at least this one more time.”

 

It was the name that did it, and Cat was sure she had gotten it wrong, but she had been close in her attempt to pronounce Kara’s real name with the same inflection that the girl had used earlier. Or at least, close enough to ensure that Kara had truly heard her, that Kara couldn’t _not_ hear her.

 

“I do trust you, Cat. Please, save me?”

 

And Cat did, because this might be a dream, something she would wake up from tomorrow when they had to face reality again, but for once it wasn’t a nightmare, and she would not let the terrors in.

 

**The End**


End file.
